Reasons to be Angry, One and Two
It would be funny if it were not pathetically embarrassing, No 1. Rather than report on the deliberations of the Congress itself, Melbourne’s Herald Sun newspaper (January 22) asked some delegates to the 32nd International Committee of the History of Art Congress what they thought of Melbourne!
You will be astonished to discover that among the 700 art museum bosses and academics (from more than 40 countries) there were a few who found Melbourne wanting. A “cultural backwater” was one description; someone else didn’t like Docklands; another declared Federation Square is “an eyesore”. Yet another described the CBD as gloomy with grey and brown high-rises which are overdue for a makeover, according to the report.
Aside from the excruciating evidence of Cultural Cringe in even thinking to ask the questions of these lucky visitors, one would have to ask why the reporter didn’t follow up with - Which major city in the world, Canberra and Brasilia excepted perhaps, is free of “grey and brown high-rises which are overdue for a makeover”?
A second follow-up question might have been something along the lines of: is it nice for you 700 lucky ducks, coming from the grey and brown gloom of the northern hemisphere, to be able to enjoy a January of sunshine and cultural diversity?
Why anyone would ask these over-privileged tossers their inevitably choleric opinion defies belief. Who cares what they think, aside from the unspoken truth that they couldn’t wait to get on a plane and leave wherever they came from for such a fabulous junket!
Let’s hope they spent loads of money in Melbourne - otherwise what’s the point of cluttering the city with a bunch of grumbling ingrates.
Pathetically Embarrassing No 2
That well known renaissance man Morris Iemma, premier of NSW for reasons that must now escape the electorate … um, ah yes, the other mob seemed even worse at the time … has again staked his claim to knowing a thing or two about the yarts.
In answer to the announcement that Melbourne has secured Australasian premiere production rights to yet another Broadway money-spinner (Jersey Boys, the story of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons), Mr Iemma told reporters it wasn’t a worry and Sydney isn’t being left behind when it comes to arts and entertainment. Haven’t we just had the Sydney Festival and what about Tamworth?
As with so many things (selling off the family jewels aka NSW power; allowing the worst legacies of the Carr years to continue unchecked aka rotten hospitals, rotten roads, rotten railways and rotten schools) Iemma just doesn’t get it. Or perhaps that should be, there are three long years until the next state election and he doesn’t care and doesn’t have to get it.
This is the point Mr Premier: Victoria has a Minister for Innovation (and no, he’s nothing to do with the catalogue where you can buy your croaking frog solar patio lights). Innovation is about finding and securing new, exciting, culturally and economically worthwhile events for Sydney and NSW. And by the way, this does not include the F1 powerboat race on the Harbour in March that your Minister for Dinosaur Blokiness, aka Joe Tripodi, is so chuffed about.
And it doesn't mean you can claim either the Sydney Festival or Tamworth – they were around long before you groaned at the idea of having to sit in a theatre (which you don't) and will be around long after you've been hustled out of office. But sadly, not before you and your lousy government have grabbed even more chances to stuff things for NSW and all her people. Shame on you Iemma. You and your mob shouldn’t be allowed to insult the party of Ben Chifley and Gough Whitlam. But that's naïve of me – you don't give a damn for that party, do you? Truth is, it's a nuisance you’d rather not have to remember being, as it was, all about We the People and our democratic rights.
And by the way, has anyone ever mentioned to you your uncanny resemblance to Garfield?
