The Dysfunckshonalz
the dYsFUnCKshOnalZ! at Darlinghurst Theatre, Arts Radar with Darlinghurst Theatre Company, September 8–October 3, 2010.
THE EXQUISITE problem with anarchy as a way of life is that it can only really exist in a well regulated and comfortably funded society. And that’s one of the great jokes of the age and on punk in particular. But it’s not the only joke played on the members of one-time, almost famous punk rockers, the dYsFUnCKshOnalZ! Real life has caught up with them ferociously in the form of beer guts, hair loss, dicky memories, no money and creeping obscurity. As it is Billy Abortion (Graeme Rhodes), Mark Faeces (Michael Long), Louise Gash (Emily Weare) and John Smith (James Lugton) have carefully avoided one another since their last gig, in Copenhagen, when lead singer Mark was left bleeding in a hotel room and narrowly escaped death.
Forgiveness and unmitigated ranting fury don’t really go together so when Billy turns up unexpectedly at the neighbourhood supermarket where Mark is a shelf stacker (did I mention irony?) they don’t fall into the hug of lost brothers. Billy comes bearing a contract promising big bucks to the band if they allow an American banking giant to use their most famous song, Plastic People for a credit card commercial. It also means the lingering hopes of world domination for the ageing members of the band are not quite the chimera they were the day before yesterday. But Mark has his principles and as they’re the only thing he does have, he’s hanging on to them like a limpet.
English actor-playwright Mike Packer really knows his punk from his elbow and his portrait of the quartet – whose members are seen in rampaging musical numbers from their past rather like Dorian Gray in reverse – is loving and accurate without being sentimental or mean.His script is also acidly funny at the expense of the pomp and circumstance of youthful idealism’s pretension as much as it also pokes fun at the creaking realities of middle age delusions.
For his part, director Michael Piggott overcame with ease his first massive hurdle: getting the casting right. It would have been a challenge putting out a call for actors who can authentically play their instruments and simultaneously sing-bellow punk lyrics while convincingly acting the parts of ageing rockers. He’s achieved all bases with his actors and then delivers an enjoyably clear and sustained show with them. James Lugton’s John Smith is a mean drummer and is also persuasive as the whacked out simpleton of the group; Emily Weare is a vocalist-bassist in the Suzi Quatro tradition who also draws out the pathos and vulnerability inherent in her place in the band’s personal and professional hierarchy; as well as her own private demons.
Graeme Rhodes and his kohl-rimmed eyes, and Michael Long with his well-stoked angst, are perfect specimens of that eternal rock star phenomenon of terminally arrested development. At once obnoxious and attractive; maddening and plaintively touching, both wear their hearts on their sleeves where they have been well trashed by the system for decades. Last but not least, Abigail Austin has the uphill task of appearing late in the piece as Gina, the corporate rep who spouts marketing jargon and fridge magnet clichés with aplomb even as she struggles to corral the out-of-control “charisma” her corporation has unwittingly purchased. She’s good.
You wouldn’t take a genius to work out that there’ll be tears before bedtime; you’d be good at guessing to figure out exactly how it all pans out. Or not: there are some upsets and blind alleys in the action that is, for the most part, extremely entertaining and honest into the bargain. What the dYsFUnCKshOnalZ! does prove, yet again, is that it sure as hell is a long way to the top; and if you get there, you might be left wondering why you bothered. Terrific entertainment; the most fun evening you could have without dancing.
